magistera | Fic! "Smoking", SB/RL

This is for

beanpop, who demanded smoking!slash. It's not the original story I had in mind, but I think this one turned out better, although I may write the other plotbunny later. I hope it lives up to your expectations ;)

Title: Smoking (yes, I suck at titles. I am currently interviewing for a title muse if anyone wants to apply.)
Pairing: SB/RL
Rating: PG
Summary: Sirius is oddly fascinated by the sight of Remus smoking.

Sirius loved to watch Moony smoking. It was one of those little things that just inexplicably fascinated him – like the way that Moony chewed the inside of his cheek when he was nervous or concentrating, or those funny herringbone clouds that sometimes stretched out across the sky like a handful of wool pulled out thin and holey, or the annoyed head-shake that Moony gave when he was trying to get his hair out of his eyes, or the pattern of water stains on the walls of the History of Magic Classroom (although that last probably had more to do with the way his mind started to drift when Binns started droning about the Great Goblin Battle of 1342 or whatever it was; it was amazing how the ghost could make something as brilliant and gory as a huge war so dull). And, of course, Moony smoking.

Sirius didn't think too much about why so many of the things that fascinated him involved Remus in some way. He didn't spend much time wondering why the sight of Remus smoking was so intriguing; he just sort of accidentally turned up in the Astronomy Tower at odd times when he knew he'd be likely to catch Remus sneaking a smoke. Remus always gave him a small, sheepish grin, as if to say you've found me out again, and they would sit there, leaning against the wall in silence, as Remus smoked and Sirius watched him.

Sirius liked to watch Moony's lips as they closed around the cigarette; he watched the tip flare red in the twilight as he took a drag. He looked at the tips of Moony's fingers, holding the cigarette to his mouth, and at his lips again, as they pursed slightly and blew out a stream of swirling grey smoke. He stared at the clouds of smoke as they drifted off into the night, and then his eyes were drawn back to Moony's lips as he brought the cigarette up to them again.

And then one night Remus offered him the cigarette. As he took it, their fingers brushed, and Sirius jumped at the thrill that ran through him. Which was odd, because he touched Moony all the time, throwing an arm around his shoulders on the way to class or hooking his chin on a thin shoulder as he read aloud in a goofy voice from whatever book Remus was curled up with. Sirius reflected, analyzing this new feeling, that he actually touched Moony quite a lot, more than he touched James or Peter. But it wasn't like he went out of his way to do it, he told himself – there was just something about Moony that invited those casual touches. And touching him had never sent chills down Sirius' back before.

He brought the cigarette up to his lips, a little awkwardly, and sucked in a lungful of smoke. It occurred to him, suddenly, that his lips were touching the same place that Moony's had touched, and he choked. Why did I think that?, he wondered, coughing.

Remus burst out laughing, taking the cigarette away from him and putting it out as Sirius hacked out the smoke he'd just inhaled. "Not much of a smoker, are you, Pads?" he said, not unkindly, and pounded on his back in a fashion that was probably meant to be helpful.

Sirius stopped coughing after a minute, but kept his head down, catching his breath and trying to suppress the flush that had covered his face over his lack of smoking savoir faire. Remus stopped pounding on him, but his hand stayed on Sirius' back, and suddenly Sirius was very aware of that hand, the thumb moving back and forth on his shoulder blade, soothingly, and he could feel the heat of Remus' body, sitting next to his.

"Pads?" Remus said softly, and he sounded a little concerned. "Are you alright?" His voice seemed to hit Sirius right in the stomach. He held himself motionless, feeling unsure and a little scared, because something was happening and he wasn't sure what it was, but he thought that if Remus stayed where he was and kept rubbing his back like that he might figure it out.

Two things happened at once, then: Remus leaned closer, maybe trying to get a look at Sirius' face; and Sirius lifted his head, turning to look at his friend. The result was that their eyes met and locked, their faces just inches apart. Remus looked startled, and Sirius felt his own eyes widen as something washed over him that was hot and cold at the same time.

They stared at each other for a second, and then Sirius felt something click in his head. So that's it, he thought, and then he was leaning forward. Remus said, "Sirius?", sounding uncertain, and then Sirius was kissing him, except the angle was wrong and he ended up with his lips pressed to the corner of Remus' mouth.

Remus went absolutely still, and Sirius thought oh shit, what have I done now?, but then Remus said "Oh," in a very small voice and turned his head a little to press their lips together.

That was when Sirius began to panic in earnest. He was kissing Moony, and Moony was kissing him back, and Sirius had done this before, but that was with girls and this was Moony and he was suddenly, horribly sick to his stomach at the thought of doing something wrong, of screwing this up somehow.

He brought a shaking hand up to trace his fingertips against Remus' cheek, and Remus sighed a little and opened his mouth, stroking Sirius' lower lip with both of his own. Sirius copied him, and then Remus' tongue was in his mouth and Sirius could taste the cigarette they'd sort of shared, and he was trembling like a leaf because this was Moony and he finally understood and it was all too much.

He pulled back, breaking off the kiss, and they stared at each other again. Remus' face was flushed, and he was breathing quickly, and Sirius realized he was doing the same. "What was that?" he said breathlessly, even though he knew the answer.

Remus laughed shakily. "If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you," he replied.

Sirius found himself at a loss for words, which was unusual. He didn't like the feeling. "Moony – you – I –" he stammered, and then subsided, trying to sort out the tangle in his head.

Remus laughed again, and seemed to be regaining his composure. "My thoughts exactly," he said, leaning against the wall again, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

They sat in silence for a minute, as Sirius tried to make sense of the maelstrom raging through his brain. Then Remus gave him a sidelong look, almost shy, and asked, "Are you going to do that again?"

Sirius gave it some thought. "Probably," he said. "Unless…you don't want me to." He tried not to hold his breath waiting for a response.

Remus took a deep breath. "I think – I think I want you to," he said, the last words coming out very quietly and all in a rush.

Sirius felt a grin spread across his face, against his will. "Good," he said simply, and they sat silently again. After a minute or two, he felt Remus' hand cover his, tentatively, and he curled his fingers around it.

Remus fumbled the pack out of his pocket, left-handed and clumsy and fascinating, and lit another cigarette.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

reddwarfer.livejournal.com

Very nice.

Leila

From:

They say there's no future for us. They're right.

Fic! "Smoking", SB/RL

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